Princess of Sarcasm

Bucket Lists and Idiots

2011-03-18T16:09:00.001-04:00

A few days ago:

Me: Should I try to get us a field for baseball practice on Saturday afternoon since our last two got rained out?

Prince: We can't do it Saturday afternoon. I'm pulling a jet.

Me: Huh?

Prince: I'm pulling a jet.

Me: *puzzled look on my face*

Prince: I'm going to be part of a team that pulls a Southwest jet on their inaugural flight into *town we live near* Each county has put together a team and I was asked to be on our county's team.

Me: You're stupid. You are not actually doing that.

Prince: Yes, I am.

Me: No, you're not.

Prince: Why do you think I went and got the cortisone shot and the fluid drained off my knee ~~that already needs surgery~~?

Me: That's EXACTLY why you shouldn't PULL A JET!!!

Prince: But how many chances do you have to do something like this? I'll get to check something off my bucket list.

Me: You had no idea this was even a bucket list option!

Prince: I'm doing it.

Me: You're stupid.

Heir to the throne: Mommy, you're not supposed to call people stupid.

Me: You can if it's true, son.

First Southwest flight to land *here*

Here comes the 83,000 lb plane!

The "A" Team...otherwise known as the Band of Idiots...getting set to pull the 737.

They won the first round! On to the second...

A local 1-AA College Offensive and Defensive Line getting ready to pull.

Against NCAA regulations? (Kidding....it wasn't!)

Pull #2 for the "A" Team

That's the Prince in the front with the black hat.

Even with my baby as the anchor, they just couldn't beat the young guns.

But a second place trophy isn't too shabby for a bunch of geezers!

And for your viewing pleasure.......

And yes, they almost ran into the crowd and through the fence. I guess once they got the locomotive started, it was just too hard to stop it.

So here we have it....marked off the bucket list. Now I have to go call our insurance company and see if "Stupidity" is a covered diagnosis.

Convo with the Prince

2011-02-07T20:07:00.001-05:00

Here's another short but sweet one:

Me: I heard a quote today that I really liked and think it would be good for you to use in your game day speeches with the kids.

Prince: What?

*Pretends to humor me while flipping through channels wishing I would go back to playing Angry Birds*

Me: "Winning isn't everything, but TRYING to win is."

*looks at the prince smiling while waiting for his response while he continues to flip channels*

Prince: Winning isn't everything, but second place sucks. You can quote me.

Me: *rolls eyes*

Gotta love him....

The Prince's 2010 First Place Baseball Team

Random Ramblings

2011-01-21T09:58:00.000-05:00

Dear Chocolate Chip Pizza from Pizza Inn,

You are of the devil.

I can't quit you.

Signed,
Jello Butt

(Disclaimer: I obviously snagged that pic from google images. The give away is that the plate only has two slices.)

****************************************

You know those little cans of extremely concentrated room sprays?

Husbands should not be allowed to operate them.

*cough cough* *gag* *wheeze*

***************************************

True Fact (According to Princess): 47 degrees and sunny starts to feel like 70 degrees when you've had so many bitter cold days in a row.

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The Princess of Sarcasm is now accepting offers to review vacation spots in Key West, Costa Rico, Turks and Caicos, or any other place where the winter attire includes flip flops...

Don't mess with me....

2011-01-12T09:36:00.001-05:00

This is the most ferocious animal on the face of the earth.

And he lives at my house....

I would suggest you not try to break in....or sniff his wee wee.

You will certainly experience the wrath.

He is 6.5 lbs. of pure dynamite...

I'm looking for the best caption for this photo.

Ready...set....GO!!!!

Really Rad Reindeer Cookies

2010-12-16T16:18:00.003-05:00

I'm that mom. You know the one....

Chief calls me a one upper. But honestly, I don't try to be. ~~I'm just naturally that awesome.~~

My youngest son had his Christmas party at school today. I love to ~~show off~~ cook. I especially love to make treats for the boys class parties.

Here's what I made for today.

Now granted, I took the easier way out and used a gingerbread cookie mix.

*insert Martha Stewart rolling over in her million dollar kitchen*

I'm so super busy ~~running around in circles getting nothing accomplished~~ that I had to cut corners a bit. But they turned out delish and they were a hit with the kiddos!

Take the prepared gingerbread cookie dough (feel free to try these with sugar cookies if you prefer) and roll them into 1" balls.

Place them on an ungreased cookie sheet.

Flatten them into a circle using the bottom of a glass.

Pinch the sides to make the face shape.

Place broken pretzels in the top for antlers.

Bake cookies according to directions.

Immediately upon taking them out of the oven, place two chocolate chips for the eyes and one red m&m for the nose.

If the m&m's pop out after the cookies cool, use a tiny bit of icing to "glue" the nose back on.

I dropped a couple of the cookies and used the icing to ~~preform surgery~~ reattach broken antlers as well.

So if you are looking to ~~outdo the other moms~~ be the "Belle of the Ball" with the 4 to12 year old set, give these cookies a try.

If you want to see other cookie recipes, head on over to Think Tank Momma's Share a Spoon.

Why I am going to marry my Droid and have it's babies....

2010-12-02T20:59:00.000-05:00

I got a new phone.

It's uses the android operating system.

I am in complete and utter love.

I am going to marry it and have it's babies.

I have been holding out FOREVER waiting for the iPhone to come to Verizon. I am a big Mac fan. I am also a big fan of good reception where ever I go...so I have been scouring the interwebz for info about when the iPhone is coming. I've fallen for every single one of the rumors....and learned how to deal with the bitter disappointments. While waiting for EONS, I've become curious about the whole android thing.

So the other day when the prince was getting a new phone, I asked the sales rep when they were getting the iPhone. My phone is a friggin' lemon and has not been sending out outgoing mail for several months now. It also freezes up nonstop. But I didn't want to use my upgrade to get the Droid X when I knew this time ~~I think~~ that Verizon is actually getting the iPhone! Long story less long, I walked out with a brand new free, low level, no frills phone that uses android OS. I can wait until later to use my upgrade when I see the iPhone ~~in January~~ at an undisclosed date not told to me by said salesrep ~~my new bff~~ and decide between it and the Droid X. What are my thoughts about the el cheapo, low man on the totem pole android phone?

I AM IN LOVE!!

Sure, the camera is pathetic and it doesn't even have a flash. (I can just keep a flashlight in my pocket.) And the keyboard is so tiny that it took me 10 minutes to type a simple sentence. But that was until I discovered Swype. After you get used to it, it is AWESOME! And you iPhone ~~losers~~ users like JennFab can't get it. I am also enjoying apps like Angry Birds and Ping!Chat...which basically lets you text/chat and send pics/videos with anyone else who has the app.

But one of my mostest favoritest function is the VOICE TO TEXT feature. It is fantastic...for two reasons.

One, Oprah won't see me texting and driving and get all "but you signed a contract" with me. I can simply talk into the mic and it translates my voice to text.

The second reason? I will show you by posting a transcript of my convo with Chief.

(She suggests you take a bathroom break before reading below. Go ahead. I'll wait.)

Bladder empty? Good. Proceed.

Actual texting convo:

Me: I'm trying something out maybe it'll work better for texting

Chief: With the new droid?

Me: omg omg I just talked and texted you

Chief: What the eff? Yer such a showoff

Chief: So, even with your southern twang it works?

Chief: Say y'all...

Me: lol yes it under stance my southern twang

Me: Well kind of lol

Chief: Omg...I just peed

Me: Going to have fun with this

Chief: That right there is blog fodder

Me: fosho baby fo sho

Chief: Say kiss my grits

Me: I am got bush alright

Chief: BS...did you just say that outloud?

Me: this morning that was nice to say it got folks ok right

Chief: wtf

Me: Okay so it's not perfect

Chief: I am got bush?

Chief: Omg...I think you've had a stroke.

Me: It was supposed to say "oh my gosh it even got fo sho right!" LOL...sooooo doing a blog post!!

Me: I'm going in ToysRUs now

Chief: Have fuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnn.

Pause for about an hour

Me: omg I almost lost my religion in toys r us

Chief: lmfao...I shop online...what are you doing in store dumba**?

Me: Don't wanna pay shipping

Me: playlist friggin cashier

Me: lowest

Me: low west

Chief: Omg!!! Hahahahahaha

Chief: Slowest?

Me: yeah fff (Trying to say yesssssssss)

Me: ya honey laughing to the could tell I was in a rush and she was hurtful

Me: What the????

Me: the guy behind me but laughing

Me: he could tell I was in a rush

Me: lady walks like a turtle

Chief: Omg...I hope you get this convo on blogger

Me: I'm in tears laughing

Chief: I'm going cross eyed

Me: I can't wait to hear that with everyone

Me: there

Me: share

Me: Took 3 tries probably my accent

The story I was trying to tell Chief was that I had the slowest cashier. And then I was in a rush to ~~beat the kids home from the bus~~ ~~win my mother of the year award~~ get home and the lady walking in front of me was walking like a turtle through the exit. The guy behind me was laughing because he could tell I was in a rush and she was so annoyingly slooooow footed. But with the hilarity of the text translating errors softened my bah humbug heart and made me laugh all the way home. All 80 mph of it...

Thanksgiving from Hell

2010-11-24T17:41:00.001-05:00

Thanksgiving....it's my Prince's most favorite day of the year. For those of you who haven't seen his picture before.....he's a big 'ol boy. To have a day devoted to eating a home cooked feast followed by napping in front of the big screen TV with his beloved Cowboys...well, let's just say there is nothing that makes his heart happier.

I've said for years that he married me for my mom's cooking. She was friends with Paula Deen in high school. Their recipes are eerily the same. It must be a south Georgia thing. Everything at our family Thanksgiving meal is made from scratch. I swear alarms would go off and armed guards would intercept us if we tried to get through my mom's front door with Stove Top stuffing.

A couple of years ago, disaster happened...

The Prince had a tooth that had been giving him trouble. He went to the dentist and was told that he needed a root canal immediately. Of course, being ~~an idiot~~ a man, he told the dentist he didn't have time to do it then. He had an important appointment out of town for work, so it would have to wait a few days. He left to go out of town and was supposed to be gone a couple of days. Less than 24 hours later, he called me and told me he was driving back in town and heading straight for the dentist chair. It must have been super bad, because my prince has an amazing tolerance for pain. Either that or he's a masochist.

Everything was fine after the root canal. And by "fine" I mean his mouth was stuffed full of cotton and he was as looney as a dodo bird from the good drugs....until he woke up on Thanksgiving morning.

*insert giant frowny face here*

While the rest of us packed up the suburban with our casserole dishes ~~and a change of pants with extra stretchy waistbands for after dinner~~, the prince was driving his own truck to meet our dentist at his office. God bless my sweet dentist who has kept my teeth happy since I was in the 2nd grade. Now I know why he's still my dentist. He spent several hours working on my hard headed (yet extremely lovable) prince's mouth. When he finally arrived at my mom's house, he headed straight for the kitchen....to get a glass of water so he could take a pain pill. Poor baby did not get to eat one single morsel of food all day long.....on his most favorite holiday of the year. It was a real Greek tragedy.

So as you get ready to ~~stuff your faces with sweet potato casserole~~ spend the holiday with your loved ones....remember those who are less fortunate....those who have to smell the wonderful aromas of their mother-in-law's cooking, but cannot eat a bite.

Happy Turkey Day to all you big turkeys!!

Another shortie but sweetie...well, maybe not so sweet...

2010-11-17T08:24:00.000-05:00

Interesting fact:

Running late to school significantly decreases the amount of traffic. (win)

It also makes you want to ram your suburban through the back end of the car that pulls out in front of you illegally. (lose)

As well as the moron who doesn't understand the concept of who's turn it really is at a four way stop. (lose...and it's overwhelmingly surprising how many people don't get it.)

It also makes you run the risk of showing up after the bell.....which would mean you have to walk your kids in to school and sign them in....perhaps in your pajamas. (lose...in an epic manner...humiliation for your kids)

via Google Images

So if you see me out and about today...make sure I've had a couple (or 12) diet cokes. I got off on the wrong foot this morning. Consider yourself warned...

Short and sweet....or sarcastic.

2010-09-20T10:19:00.000-04:00

I just got my new phone book...which I will give to my neighbor's kid to take to the recycling club at school...where all of my other phone books go.

I really don't know why we get them anymore. I haven't used one since they took all the phone booths away. I'm a whitepages.com kinda girl.

Is there a way to opt out of getting them? It seems a shame to recycle them when it wasn't even necessary to lose the tree in the first place. (Some tree hugger is sobbing somewhere right now.)

I'm pretty sure the only people who use phone books are those same people who still write checks at the grocery store.

*waving to you, Mom!*

Changing seasons and body images....

2010-09-15T11:25:00.003-04:00

Guess what time of year it is?!!!!!

~~End of Summer~~

~~Fall~~

~~Football Season~~

~~School Time~~

Diet time.

*balloons deflate*

Let's just say....Princess has been having a little too much fun this summer. For some reason I cannot go on vacation without ~~eating my way through the town~~ putting on a few pounds. It took me quite some time to realize my ~~fattness~~ weight gain. Wearing comfortable, flowy skirts all summer will do nothing to remind you of your increasing buttocks.

My boys had their first baseball practice the other night and I threw on a pair of capris before we left because the temperatures had plunged to like ~~freezing~~ 85 degrees at night.

(All you yankees can shut it. If you don't know that I am a sun bunny and not a snow bunny by now, you must be a newbie.)

Anyfatty, back to my story.... Those capri pants fit like a glove....~~alleged~~ OJ's glove. They were T-I-G-H-T. (And not the slang "tight" that means something good. The old meaning of tight that means....well....tight.)

After my revelation, I tried to put my fat hiney under the pillow. But alas, the Skinny Fairy did not show up. At first, I thought maybe she forgot....like the tooth fairy does on occasion. *ahem* So I did it again. Still...a no show.

At this point, I'm forced to lose the weight the old fashion way....~~starving~~ diet and exercise. I'm on day three and I ~~miss butter~~ am working through the hunger. I've managed to lose 3 lbs. (I know, I know...it's water weight. Don't rain on my parade!)

I need some accountability. Since apparently I cannot trust my skirts....

I am going to post a before pic and then when I lose the weight I will post an after pic.

Before

Ok...real before

After day 2.

Shut up. There is NOT any photoshopping deception involved here. I have no idea what you are talking about. My diet is really working. I am going to publish it and be a GAZILLIONAIRE.

Don't worry. I will take you all on a fabulous vacation...after we all lose our weight.

And we will look like this....

Wait...I mean like this....

Who's with me?

New Jersey Nuts

2010-09-10T11:27:00.000-04:00

New Jersey has to be the most entertaining state on the map right now. Between Real Housewives of New Jersey, Jersey Shore, Jerseylicious, etc. I'm betting all the residents of NJ would prefer to have The Sopranos to come back. You know, the classy New Jersey show. To all my New Jersey peeps...don't worry...we know it's not an accurate depiction of New Jersey life. But it's someone else's turn to be the butt of jokes. The South is passing on that role to you. You. Are. Welcome.

I am thoroughly devastated that RHONJ is over. It was a cinematic masterpiece....of train wreck TV. What made it so ~~trashy~~ delicious? Danielle. I'm sure she will win all kinds of ~~porn awards~~ emmys this year for best ~~skanky hoochie~~ villian.

As a ~~stay at home mom~~ psychotherapist, it is a diagnostic dream to watch her. I am sure Danielle is used in psychology program case studies all over the world when students are learning to diagnose ~~pure crazy~~ serious mental illnesses. In fact, I'm sure they will have to come up with a new one that will encompass all the crazy into one simple line. It would be something like General Wackadoodle, Complete Crackhead, Needs a Check Up from the Neck Up, Full On Fruitcake with a secondary diagnosis of Broke Hooker.

It amazed me how her reality was COMPLETELY different from EVERYONE ELSE'S. I wondered if she was even there in the room when everything was happening. Perhaps she was a hologram or some kind of Disney Pixar magic instead. That's the only logical explanation I can come up with. Danielle was the master of turning a simple comment about absolutely nothing into a specific death threat or intent to cause bodily harm.

Did you see the women she accused of threatening her? They look like the kind of women who might be able to take you down at a cupcake decorating class or a queso eating contest. The only thing Danielle needs to worry about or to keep an eye on is her Tostitos. I'm pretty sure her children are safe ~~unless they are holding cupcakes~~.

The thing that really killed me was the reunion show. Danielle sat there playing the part of the victim of all their abuse, when IN REALITY she started the whole thing. After months of her telling lies about the other women and slandering them every chance she got, she acted all innocent when they ~~angrily~~ confronted her about it. She denied everything...even though it is all on film ~~and sex tapes~~.

She claimed that everyone just misunderstood her ~~blatant threats and vicious insults~~ remarks. She pushed the women to the point where it was impossible for them to contain their rage. People can only take so much before they snap. I'm a generally calm and docile princess....yet I had the overwhelming urge to jump through the TV screen and yank her other hair extensions off her craze balls head myself. (Might have been the HD signal that made me feel like it was a viable possibility.)

And Kim G. *insert shaking head* Lawd have mercy. She tried to pretend to be the the Switzerland of the show, but in reality she was the ~~snooty, holier than thou, spineless, I'm friendly with you only if you can do something for me, two faced)~~ France.

I have no clue how Danielle managed to get ~~a handful of sheep~~ so many people to believe her and feel sorry for her. Poor ~~liar~~ victim, Danielle. They must have missed some of the episodes....you know the ones where Danielle opened her mouth.

When Danielle apologized to Jaqueline and Teresa....complete with a full on, lingering ~~molestation~~ hug with Jaqueline...did anyone else roll their eyes and think, "I've heard this lie before!"

I mean seriously, do you know anyone in your life like Danielle who is this out of touch with reality? Yeah, me too. *Insert nervous laughter. Makes eye contact with readers who relate. Updates life insurance policy.*

Puppy love for Julie and Jaden....

2010-09-01T10:00:00.000-04:00

Our pup ~~Brutus~~ Chico has become the official Sarcasm family spokesdog. Why? Because when he is around, no one is paying attention to anything but his sweet little self. <--totally understandable

Chico wants you to all to pray for Jaden's mom, Julie. If you don't know who Jaden and Julie are ~~you must be living in the remote hills of Kapackaraqstan~~ click here.

As if watching your baby go through treatment for cancer was not bad enough......what would you do if your own cancer returned?

Me? Personally? I would crumble like a pillar of salt.

I cannot imagine the immense pain and emotional suffering this family has been through already. It's just not fair. Too much....enough already I say!! <--cancer does not listen to me, but I keep yelling.

Pray for Julie and go show her some love at Supah's place. Jaden needs his mommy. He needs her to be healthy and happy. They deserve for life to be relatively uneventful. I think they've been through enough already....

World Premier....

2010-08-31T09:06:00.000-04:00

The Sarcasm Family has an announcement to make....

Is he not the cutest thing EVER?!

No?

You need more proof?

Now try to tell me he's not the cutest puppy ever....

Chico is quite the popular fellow. It's too bad my boys aren't in to girls yet, cuz this little miniature bear is a chick magnet. The dudes dig him too. My poor prince couldn't take a nap on Sunday afternoon for the steady stream of kids coming in to see our little studling.

The prince is already trying to turn him into a hunting dog. But I think it might be a problem since his legs are barely long enough to run through the grass. I'm guessing tromping through the woods might be an issue. Not to mention, he's easily spooked.

The prince gave him the name "Chico." I felt like I had to give him a strong middle name.....so he wouldn't get beat up on the playground.

Chico has already found himself a cougar. It's a bit of a long distance relationship. But thanks to Skype, he can see his girl Maggie whenever Chief gets her Mac out of her bag he wants.

I'm sure my new little bundle of fur will provide me with blog fodder. So stay tuned to the adventures in potty training.....and lunch dates with my favorite shoes....

Fatty McFatterson

2010-08-27T09:46:00.002-04:00

Hey ya'll....I'm back from beautiful Charleston, SC...better known as the fried green tomato, shrimp and grits, okra, and peach cobbler tour. And after my puffy taco, enchilada, and Big Red tour of Texas earlier this month....I AM OFFICIALLY ON A DIET!!

So if you are one of my locals and you see me with anything other than a carrot in my mouth...slap it out of my hand and stomp on it. (But do it real good, I have this five second rule....especially if it's chocolate...and I do NOT have any shame.) It will be jeans season anytime now and I am skurred to put them on. All these free flowing summer dresses are ruining me. Traitors.

I'm sure you are all coming back to my blog today to look for an update about this post. Well, today I am going to see a man about a dog......or better yet....a lady about a puppy. Stay tuned for the conclusion.

Here's my big dilemma....how will I know if this dog is an idiot? I have a hard time getting past the cutesy, tail waggin', puppy kissing, floppy earred adorableness whenever I see a pup. Last time I fell for that crap it was a disaster! No, I'm not talking about Auggie the 20 year old most awesomest wonder dog ever who passed on a couple of years ago. I'm talking about the stray beagle my friend made me come see when I was in grad school.

Oh, how cute he was. (DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!) He had the floppiest of ears...the sweetest of faces...the snuggliest of noses...the fatest little beagle belly ever! (I looked past the infestation of fleas and a gazillion ticks.) We introduced him to Auggie and after a few minutes of butt sniffing, they were fast friends. Soul brothers.

These pics are not of Doc. But they may be his twin brothers.

Photos via Google Images

It was a blissful life at first (after a thorough bath)....well, except that Doc would steal Auggies food. (See fat dog reference earlier...he had a tyroid problem we later found out....a daily pill helped.) And the fact that Doc would dig out of the backyard despite a physical fence AND an underground fence. (He would yelp the entire time he dug.) There was no keeping this dog in the yard. It was like trying to make a 20 year old hooker into a nun.

There were countless vet bills from his escapades into the dog eat dog (literally) world. There was this one time when we were on vacation and my SIL was dog sitting at our house. He ran away for a few days and came back with a severed urethra. Auggie (the follower) came back with maggots in his wound. (Gag, puke, choke.) We sat in the doggie ER hoping Doggie Social Services would come take him from us. But alas, they found us to be diligent doggie parents. *le sigh*

As much as Doc was a bad mama jamma around the hood....he was also a little scaredy cat. That dog could not stand to be outside in the rain. And if there was the tiniest clap of thunder, you can rest assured he would be at the back door clawing his way in. (Nearly dug a whole in it.)

One day the prince and I were out shopping for baby stuff. A horrible storm came up with terrible thunder and lightening. I just knew Doc was outside in the hurricane waiting (impatiently) for me to let him in. By the time we got home, it was a steady rain but the thunder and lightening had passed. I was surprised not to see his little rain soaked fat body at the door looking up at me with his pitiful little fat face. I figured he had finally given up and gone to lay in the deluxe dog house like our good dog, Auggie.

A short while later, the sun came out. We opened the door and called the dogs. Auggie stepped out of his house with a little stretch and a yawn and slowly walked into the house. Doc was no where to be found. I started to get annoyed as I was calling for him. All I could think was, "That dang dog is off stirring up trouble again!"

But then I heard him. A little whimper. From where? I couldn't find him anywhere in the yard. And then I realized the sound was coming from up above. OH NO! My sweet little annoying dog didn't make it through the storm and now he is an angel! (God was being generous.)

I looked up and there he was...................on our roof. (I'll give you a few seconds to process that.)

Yep. On the roof! The prince had left a ladder leaning against the house. When Doc finally realized no one was going to let him in the house, he did the next most logical thing one would do in a monsoon....he climbed onto the roof!!! But then his fat butt couldn't get back down! So he spent the entire storm on the top of the house.....with no shelter from the storm. That dog was the smartest idiot I've ever known.

Please dear Lord, give me a sign if this puppy is even a smidgen related to Doc. I beg of you.....

Princess Goes to Chucktown

2010-08-24T10:00:00.001-04:00

Ha ha Suckas! Guess where I'm headed? I'm headed to Chucktown with the prince tonight. (That would be Charleston for you non locals. Try to keep up.)

Nana and Papa God bless them are coming to do the kid/school duty. All I have to do is finish packing and I'm outta here!

*insert happy dance*

AND...I have a new bag to pack from Simply Bags. (Click on the link and browse around for a moment. I'll be right here waiting for you................ Fabulous, right? I know!!)

When Simply Bags contacted me to see if I would be interested in doing a product review in exchange for a bag, I said, "Heck yeah!"....or something like that. I mean, who can't use a bag?! I am always needing something to pack up stuff to go to the lake, the beach, the pool, the ball fields, tailgating, overnight trips to fabulous places, school, *take a deep breath* etc. They asked what color and if I would like it personalized. Duh...pink and Princess of course!

It came in the mail just in time for me to pack it for the lake this weekend. I was surprised how big it was. I fit a change of clothes and shoes for 4 people in it with plenty of extra room left. It has a side pocket for small items and the top zips closed. The rope handle is soft and did not dig into my shoulder like a lot of other bags do. I truly love this bag after one use!

So now I've got it all packed up for my trip to Charleston. Since it's my new favorite bag, I have all of my favorite essential items packed in it...my lovah Macbook, my squishy pillow, my super soft snuggly blanket, my ultra comfortable J. Crew flip flops, and of course....my boa and tiara.

If you see someone walking around Charleston with a boa and tiara pink striped bag with Princess on the side, be sure to say "Hi!"

Go see all the awesome products Simply Bags has to offer. There are some great gifts for young adults going off to college, teacher gifts, girlfriend gifts, kids gifts, gifts for yourself, princess gifts.....really any kind of gift. Like I said, who can't use an awesome bag?! <--I will be happy to receive another bag if you want to buy me one. No really.....feel free. ;)

Dog Days.....

2010-08-23T12:02:00.000-04:00

My boys want a dog.

We had the most awesome dog in the world up until a couple of years ago. We had to put down our sweet dog Auggie two weeks before Christmas. It was heart wrenching. He was 20 years old. He was my absolute life before we had kids.

After Auggie passed, many people asked if we would get another dog. At the time there was no way I could fathom opening my heart to another animal. So we put it off. My kids, on the other hand, did not spend 20 years with him and form the same kind of attachment. They started asking for another dog soon after.

The other night we went to a BBQ joint with some friends. It's was a quaint little restaurant behind an old farmhouse on several acres of land. There were two old labs frolicking lying lifeless in the grass when we pulled up. The boys played with them a few seconds before we doused them in hand sanitizer walked in. After we finished eating, the adults sat and talked while the kids went outside to run around.

I sat and watched my boys running around with those sweet old dogs. (They miraculously came to life when my boys doused in BBQ cologne walked outside.) It was the sweetest thing ever. Boys and dogs. It doesn't get a whole lot more Norman Rockwell than that.

After watching them I feel like I need to put my grief aside and attempt to open up my heart....for my boys sake. I'm sure Auggie would not want them to go through life without that experience of loving a dog as they grow up. So I started looking online for adoptable dogs. Auggie was a rescue mutt and made me a big fan of shelter dogs.

After looking through hundreds of pictures of dogs, I realized I have some specific requests...

I need a dog smaller than 100 lbs. I have two growing boys who are destined to be large teenagers. (Their daddy played offensive tackle in college.) I don't need a dog who will eat more than them.
I want a dog that does not shed. (Self explanatory.)
I would prefer a dog who does not bark all night long. (I like being a good neighbor.)
Speaking of being a good neighbor, I would like one who does not root around in my neighbors garbage cans on trash day.
Do they make self cleaning dogs?

OH NO!!! I think what I really want is a CAT! Did I mention I hate don't prefer cats?

They don't fetch. They decide when they do or don't want to be loved on. Their litter boxes stink to high heavens. They are moody and vindictive. I've never been a fan of cats...except for our cat Miss Kitty when I was a little girl. But I think she was trans-specied. She felt like a dog on the inside. Poor thing. We probably should have sent her to therapy instead of making her eat cat food and play with cat toys.

What should I do? I am open to suggestions. My boys are waiting....

Fat Girl to the Rescue

2010-08-20T12:12:00.002-04:00

I've often wondered why most of my friends are super fit. I mean, what are they doing hanging out with a lazy chubby girl like me? My initial thought was because it:

Reminded them why they need to continue to exercise.
Made them feel better about themselves.
I am their project and they sit around at Zumba class and plan how they are going to "change" me.
They need someone at their birthday party that will eat up the left over cake so that there is none left to tempt them.

My Girls

Sorry the pic is so small. I'm having technical difficulties...

I have so many good friends who run daily because they are nuts like it. They run in 5Ks and Mud Runs. They do yoga. They ride their bikes for hours upon miles. They work out with big steroidy dudes named Bo Bo. (Kidding...I have no idea if Bo Bo does steroids. It's just the image I have made up in my mind. I've never seen him....you know, since I don't go to the gym.) They invite me to water aerobics. Uhhh, no thanks ladies. That incorporates two things I hate....exercise AND swim suits!

Today, I realized the real reason I have been befriended by all my fitness queen chicks. I got a call from one of my besties, Serena.

Serena: "Hey! I need you real quick. Do you have 15 minutes?"

Me: "Of course I do. What's up?" (Thinking she needs to talk a minute and she wants to pick my brain since I am an expert in child and adolescent psychology was a therapist in a former life before children...and she has a daughter in middle school.)

Serena: "My bike has a flat tire. I need you to come get me and take me home."

Me: *feeling guilty that she's exercising while I can't even find the motivation to get in the shower yet* "I'll be right there!"

Obviously I am the only one they can call for such a service. Everyone else is out doing *insert fitness activity here*.

So I'm their emergency plan. Which is not all bad.

A. I'm needed.

B. I'm valued.

C. I get to be their superhero.

Day Two: I'm not gonna make it...

2010-08-18T15:57:00.000-04:00

Today is day 2 of school. But since we parked and walked our boys to their classes on the first day it was day 1 of carpool line otherwise known as pure hell!

Our school is going through some growing pains which means pain in the buttocks CONSTRUCTION! Ugh. The first phase is the loss of one of our two drop off lanes. In the end, it will make our drop off/pick up process safer by getting the car line off the main street and into the parking lot while waiting. But for now it is a cluster...ummm...let's just leave it at cluster.

This morning it took me 20 minutes to get my hellions angels to school. This may not sound like a long time to you, but I live really close to their school. So close that if we have our walkie talkies on the same channel, we can hear them calling students to the car line while sitting in our house. (You have no idea how much restraint it takes for the Prince not to get on the radio and mess with Mrs. Bulldog.)

As annoying as it was for the parents and kids at drop off this morning, it was twice as miserable for my friend Mrs. Bulldog. Girlfriend looked like she was one of those dudes directing airplanes to the gate....except she had cuter shoes.

I might take her a pair of headphones, a safety vest and some glow sticks tomorrow. Though she might appreciate vodka valium a hug more....

Summer Lovin....

2010-08-16T15:19:00.000-04:00

In the words of Danny and Sandy....

"Summer lovin', had me a blast.

Summer lovin' happened so fast"

Truer words were never spoken...

*big dramatic sigh*

Goodbye my darling, Summer. (Kids start school tomorrow.)

Parting is such sweet bitter sorrow.... (Shakespeare was apparently drunk when he wrote "SWEET sorrow")

I shall miss you lazy summer mornings of sleeping in....

Gone are the days of the sun reflecting off the cool waters of the beach, pool, lake....and glistening drinks. (Yes, I am including the reflection off my silver diet coke cans.)

No more late nights playing outside with the boys...catching fire flies and pop flies...playing kickball at dusk.

No more hopping in the truck, traveling with the boys to a new place.

Hello alarm clocks and rushing around in the morning.

Here we come school traffic and homework.

Then right around the corner comes fall sports....with the hustle and bustle of practices and games.

Hurry up, get a bath, get in bed....

And then we do it all over again the next day....until summer comes.

Liva la Summer! Save me a seat for June...preferably one pool, lake, or ocean side...

Back to School and Big Brother...because those topics obviously go hand in hand.

2010-08-12T13:02:00.000-04:00

You guys either do not have a life (totally not judging here) or you are true fans (hoping for this one.) I have made two pitiful "comebacks" this summer only to neglect my blog both times. I had to gather my page view stats for someone and was SHOCKED to see how many people mosey on over even when I am not posting anything. But never fear my fans....er, I mean friends....my kids start back to school next week and I will surely find the time and the annoyances to blog about.

You. Are. Welcome.

But for the time being...I have something I need to express real quick.

Is anyone else utterly and completely annoyed by this couple?!

Rachel may be the single most annoying Big Brother contestant ever. And possibly the most annoying person on reality TV ever. She has played Brendan like a fool using her boobs emotional manipulation to turn him into an idiot. I'm sure his mom is sooooo happy about his relationship with Rachel. It's really hard to believe these two are actual scientists. The fact that they are annoying me more than the Jersey boy who calls himself "Meow Meow" says a lot....

I wish I could be in the room watching Brendan when the show is over and he sees all the things Rachel is saying about him behind his back. Or with Rachel, Brittney, and Monet when they are all talking smack about each other. This season definitely deserves the catty girls award. The only good thing about this season was seeing Jeff and Jordan host the POV contest.

Maybe it's ME that needs to get a life..... <--no comments from the peanut gallery please!

Happy Supah Day!

2010-07-28T00:00:00.002-04:00

Today is Supah's BirFday!! She finally turned 50 40 39 oh, ok...she turned 35. *sigh* There are you happy now?

The wolfpack and I decided to give Supah the gift of cartoon for her big day. She's a big fan of Ed's Stickman cartoons. *wink Too bad for her we don't have as much talent as Ed...

We were all supposed to draw our own cartoons on the computer and display them for you all to see. But I have a laptop and I quickly learned that it is not very easy to draw on a tiny fingerpad. So I had to draw mine on real paper. And THEN I learned my scanner is on the fritz. *insert grumbling and possibly some swearing* The only way I could get them on my computer was to use my camera. Ugh...such a pain. Supah better appreciate all this lameness hard work I did to provide her with this artistic failure masterpiece. Supah knows what kind of techtard I am, so I'm guessing she'll love it like she loves her daughter's macaroni art.

So without futher adieu....

Entourage: Staring the Wolfpack

Happy Birthday Supah! We love you!!

(But I love you more.)

I hope the rest of you enjoyed this as well.

Hope the inside jokes didn't make you question our humor sanity. Now go check out Chief, JennFab and Mommy is in the Bathroom to see if they got theirs done.

Trip from hell...

2010-07-22T10:34:00.000-04:00

Poor Princey. He's been having a rough go with traveling by plane lately. On his trip to Denver he had to fly to Memphis for a fuel stop because they couldn't put enough fuel on the plane to make it to Atlanta.

Supahmommy's husband explained the reason they couldn't put a full tank of gas on the plane to me (something to do with heat/altitude/makes the plane too heavy to lift off), but all I heard was "Blah, blah, heat, blah, blah, blah, blah, get home real late, blah, blah..."

When he got to Memphis, they were delayed on leaving due to bad weather in Atlanta. As his plane touched down in Atlanta, the last plane from home was taking off. Literally. They probably passed on the runway. I watched the whole thing unfold online.

Poor Princey. Imagine my 6'4" man sprawled out on those chairs in the airport trying to sleep.... By the time he finished waiting in line for the not so helpful phones and rebooked his flight, it was nearly 2 am. Guess what time the cleaning crew starts up in an airport? Yep. And then all the passengers for the early morning flights begin arriving very shortly after that. Grumpy Prince.....

Yesterday, the Prince got up early and headed out for the airport again. He got to the airport and after waiting until departure time, found out that his flight to Philly had been canceled. He was rebooked on one for early evening. Lovely. Soooo glad he got up so early and drove to the airport and wasted time sitting and waiting just to find out it was all for nothing. Princess would NOT be happy if SHE had to get up early. It would've gotten ugly. When they finally did leave, they spent over an hour on the tarmac waiting for departure. Again, imagine 6'4" of crumpled up legs in an airplane. It's not pretty.

Please...for the love of God....if you see a tall man take the seat behind you....do NOT recline your seat back! It's just plain rude. And you are liable to get injured when his knee punctures your spinal chord.

We are scheduled to leave next week for a trip to Texas for his high school reunion. I am strongly considering changing my flight. He's a bad luck charm for flying.

All this reminded me of our WORST FLIGHT EVER!

My oldest son was a baby. We had been in Texas for Christmas. My poor baby had a bad case of the Rotavirus. If you have ever had a baby with rotavirus, you know that it is the runniest, smelliest, nastiest, vilest stomach virus EVER! Poor thing was blowing through outfits left and right. I packed tons of extra diapers and 7 outfits in my carry on bag....because a good mother is very well prepared.

Unfortunately, I had to break out an outfit before we even made it to the airport. I was smart enough to pack some trash bags to seal up the smelly clothes if I needed. I put the bag with the soiled items in my suitcase before we checked in.

Security was fierce since this was December 2001....after the 911 attacks. The National Guard was checking luggage by hand. The nice young lady checking my bags reached for the trash bag and started to undo the knot. I stopped her and said, "You are more than welcome to open that bag if you need to. However, I am warning you that it contains my son's clothes that have been soiled due to rotavirus and it is quite possibly a stench that you will never be able to erase from your memory." She hesitated as she pondered the correct course of action. She decided to squeeze the bag and feel for nuclear weapons or other dangerous contraband instead of opening it and releasing "the nasty." Smart woman.

We continued on our way and began the trip from hell. Let me spare you all the gory details and skip to the end. By the time we got off the plane in our hometown, my baby was wearing the last diaper I packed and was wrapped up in an airplane blanket. I felt like such a redneck running around with my baby dressed in only a diaper with no shoes. If we had been at Walmart, we probably wouldn't have gotten a second look. But in the airport........lots of stares.

All photos via Google Images

Get your drink on...

2010-07-15T13:46:00.000-04:00

This is just a quick post because I forgot all about it and I'm heading out the door in T-minus whatever time it takes me to whip up it up. (The post, not the drink. Although.......)

My girls and I took a weekend trip to Charleston, SC last summer. If you have never been to Charleston, you are truly missing out. It is a beautiful town with lots of fabulous 5 star eateries and delicious dives. But if I ever catch you at a chain restaurant there, I will learn how to block your IP address and ban you for life.

Anydrink, we had a wonderful little concoction while we were there and I thought this would be a perfect time to hook up with Think Tank Momma's Share a Staw and give you the mixins'. I copied it directly from www.food.com because I'm lazy like that short on time.

Enjoy!

Ingredients:

Servings:

1 fluid ounce raspberry vodka
1/2 fluid ounce Cointreau liqueur
1/2 fluid ounce pineapple juice
1/2 fluid ounce cranberry juice
1 dash fresh lime juice
1-2 raspberries
1 to taste champagne

Change Measurements: US | Metric

Directions:

Prep Time: 2 mins

Total Time: 2 mins

1Muddle the raspberries in the bottom of a martini glass.
2Combine the raspberry vodka, cointreau, pineapple juice, cranberry juice and lime juice in a shaker.
3Shake and strain into glass.
4Top with champagne.
5Garnish with a sprig of mint.
6Enjoy!
7Tip: When I serve these at a party, I make a pitcher of Flirtini "mixer" (raspberry vodka, Cointreau, pineapple juice, cranberry juice and lime juice) ahead of time. Then guests can pour the "mixer" in their glass, and add the champagne and raspberries themselves!

Someone pull the emergency brake!!

2010-07-14T08:39:00.010-04:00

Holy macaroni! Where the heck is the summer going? I feel like I am on a freight train barreling towards the end of the Earth.

I need someone to pull the emergency brake before this gets out of hand! We have barely over a month left before the kids have to go back to prison school. With the beginning of a new school year comes all the fall youth sports...which I love...but am not ready for yet.

Why do the moms kids only get two and a not even a half months off from school during the summer? I mean, I'm all about some edumacation and stuff, but why can't we have a good 3 to 4 months to enjoy getting up late the beautiful sunshine? My kids need their vitamin D! I'd rather them go to school for an extra year to make up for the lost time from the extra summer months. I really think the plan is genius and could solve a lot of problems and help the economy too. Let me tell you how....

1. We would have a year longer to wish we had started saving for the college fund.
2. Beach resorts and tourism hot spots would get more prime weeks for a revenue boost.
3. Coopertone could sell more sunscreen.
4. Dermatologists would be in greater demand.
5. Teaching positions would need to be created to accommodate the extra year of prison school.
6. We would be able to keep our kids from leaving the nest as soon.
7. Princess You would have more time to work on my your tan.
8. Dairy farms would quit losing their farms due to increased ice cream sales.
9. Hollywood would become even more obnoxiously rich benefit from more summer movie ticket sales.
10. Which reminds me.....corn farmers could keep their farms too from the increased popcorn sales.

Who doesn't want to jump on this bandwagon and help me save my sanity tan our farmers?! I'd totally run for president if I weren't so fond of being lazy busy....

They twisted my arm...

2010-07-11T23:20:00.001-04:00

Hello there. My name is Princess.

I was begged bribed harassed asked by Brittany and Amber to participate in this here Blog Bash hosted by Not Your Average Teen. Poor Amber and Brittany have asked me a gazillion many times to join in with their hair brained schemes activities. Totally kidding girls! And too many times my schedule has not allowed me to do so. But since my house is cleanish, the laundry is almost done and the Prince is eating high on the hog in Denver while I’m at home eating a bowl of cereal, I have time to write up a quick post.

As part of the interrogation blog bash, I have to answer the following questions:

Why do you blog?

Well that’s a simple one. I started blogging because Facebook didn’t allow me enough characters to express myself.

What do you blog about?

Anything that comes to my mind! I try to make it funny or entertaining in some way. I don’t want people to feel like they are forced to sit on my couch and watch all my vacation slides. (Oh crap...I just dated myself.) Most of the time I blog about things that happen in my life with the Prince, my boys or my friends...all of whom have nicknames to protect their reputation identity. The only thing I don’t do is air my really dirty laundry talk politics or religion.

What do you find to be the biggest reward you get from blogging?

Fame.

JUST KIDDING! kind of

No really, the biggest reward is getting to know some pretty awesome people. And I’m not just talking about my BFF’s Supah, Chief, JennFab and MITTB...but a whole slew of people. I started making a list of people I’d like to actually meet in person. I’ve checked one person, Shell, off that list and I’m meeting two more in a few weeks. No, I will not publish that list because quite frankly some of you are creepy might get your feelings hurt. *insert nervous laughter and awkward wide eyed smile*

How long have you been blogging?

Ummm...not sure...hold on. Let me go check. Stay right there. I’m keeping one eye on you......

Oh, so sorry! I got distracted re-reading my first few posts while looking for my start date. It was September 16, 2009. I’m almost a year old! I’ll bet ya’ll can’t wait until I start eating solid food and get potty trained.....

Let’s hear the story behind your blog title.

Well, that’s another easy one. I am a very sarcastic person. You can pretty much bet that if it comes out of my mouth, it is not intended to offend you. It is intended to make you laugh. So if you have a stick up your rear can’t handle humor, you might as well move along.

The Princess monicker came from a friend who jokingly (I think) called me Princess due to my cushy life. My husband is most certainly my Prince. He spoils me rotten and has turned my life into my own little fairy tale. I never dreamed life could be so awesome. There may be people who have more things...but I think you would be hard pressed to find someone who is happier. I am blessed with an awesome family and incredible equally sarcastic friends. So anyway, I put the two facets of my life together and decided on Princess of Sarcasm. “Her Awesomeness” just seemed a little too showy...

That’s me in a nutshell. If you liked what you read, follow me. If not, no biggie. I write for me and not you anyway. *sticks tongue out at you* <--Oh yeah, I’m really mature like that too.

Hope to see you all again! If you'd like to participate in the blog bash, click on the button to find out the details.

Youtube is King

2010-07-02T08:00:00.000-04:00

I did it ya'll! This is DAY 5 of my return to blogging. I've managed to blog every day this week. I don't usually post on the weekends, so this is the official end of my comeback. Hopefully I'll be able to come up with some stuff for next week...

I am looking forward to this weekend. I will be burnt to a crisp golden tan by the end of it. We are headed to heaven the lake today and won't return until we have to Monday.

Before I leave I wanted to give you a gift for welcoming me back to blogging with open arms. Please enjoy the following videos. Thanks to my friend Serena for sending me one of them. She says her husband is the one in the khakis. I'd have to say the Prince is all of them rolled into one, but with slightly better clothes. I would not let him dress like that anymore ever.

Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA!!!

Princess Cooks...for reals ya'll!

2010-07-01T00:00:00.001-04:00

Princess is an excellent cook. No seriously! Have ya'll seen pictures of the Prince? He didn't get that Atlas body from TV dinners and Lean Cuisines. He got it from good old home cookin'. His momma gave him a good head start. The Prince comes from a loooong line of good cooks, so it's no wonder he picked me for my mom's cooking.

Today I am hooking up with Think Tank Momma's Share a Spoon for a little recipe sharing. The theme this week is casseroles. What self respecting southerner doesn't have a trunk full of casserole recipes? She asked specifically for Mexican entries. Being the people pleaser agreeable person I am, I was happy to oblige.

I was first introduced to this casserole by my beloved sister-in-law in Texas who served it at a baby shower she threw us. Pssshhhhhhttt....ya'll know how a pregnant woman likes to eat, right? It was yummmmay!

This particular recipe is the version from Southern Living has been passed down for generations in the Prince's family. It's easy peasy and the kids love it too!

King Ranch Chicken Casserole

1 (2 lb) whole chicken from the deli (or cook your own if you are a show off)
1 medium onion, chopped
1 medium green bell pepper, chopped
1 clove garlic, pressed
3/4 cup chicken broth
1 (10 3/4 oz) can cream of mushroom soup
1 (10 3/4 oz) can cream of chicken soup
2 (10 oz) cans of Rotel tomatoes & green chilies, drained
1 tsp. dried oregano
1 tsp. ground cumin
1 tsp. Mexican style chili powder (or 1 tsp chili powder and 1/8 tsp ground red pepper)
3 cups grated sharp cheddar cheese
3 cups coarsely crushed lime flavored Tostitos

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Melt butter in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add onion, and saute 6 to 7 minutes or until tender. Add bell pepper and garlic, and saute 3 to 4 minutes. Stir in 3/4 cup chicken broth, cream of mushroom soup and next five ingredients. Cook, stirring occasionally, 8 minutes.

Skin and bone chicken, shred meat into bite size pieces. Layer half of chicken in a lightly greased 13 x 9 inch baking dish. Top with half of the soup mixture and 1 cup cheddar cheese. cover with half of corn chips. Repeat layers once. Top with remaining 1 cup cheese.

Bake at 350 degrees for 55 minutes to 1 hour or until bubbly. Let stand 10 minutes before serving.

I'm not a huge fan of leftovers so sometimes I put the recipe in two 8 x 8 dishes and freeze one. That works well for all those busy days I don't have time to make a decent meal. I just pop one out of the freezer for those times. I freezes super well!

If you want to reduce the taste fat content, do all that switching around with that reduced fat soup and cheese junk. I'd prefer to just cut my portions and get the full flavor. But to each his own....

Princess Goes Postal...but forgets her gun

2010-06-30T09:05:00.000-04:00

This is day 3 of my return to blogging. Aren’t you all giddy? Today I am hooking up with the meme What I Meant to Say or WIMTS for short.

My momma taught me to be polite and say nice things with a smile. I very rarely churn the waters when someone annoys me. So this meme is PERFECT for me. Let me set the stage...

I love to shop. No matter what age, shape, size I have been in my life I have always enjoyed the “ching ching” of the cash register.

It all began with the toy store and the candy store and eventually graduated to malls and boutiques. The only exception to this rule is my adult abhoration (is that a word?) for the grocery store and World of Wally. And really, the only thing I TRULY hate about “the mart” has more to do with the other idiot patrons and the traffic.

And now, boys and girls, someone is trying to ruin my love of shopping at the mall. There are terrorists at the mall. I’m not trying to profile anyone, but they are typically foreigners. And before you get all “Princess hates foreigners!” let me tell you that is NOT true.

I adore the following (but not limited to) foreigners:

Hugh Jackman

David Beckham

Ghandi

Prince William

Gerard Butler

Zsa Zsa Gabor

Nelson Mandela

Madonna (Shut. Up. Really?)

Manu Ginobili

Carlos Santana

Colin Firth

Dolce and Gabana

Dolce de Luche (What? Oh. My bad.)

Anyway, you get the point.

So picture this. Princess. At the beach. The Prince and the boys drop her off at the mall and go golfing. Only nine holes. Short period of time. Read: Power shopping.

I am FLYING through the racks of summer sales and shoe departments. I make it through the first department store and head out into the open waters looking for more crack sales.

“Excuse me Miss! Can I have one minute?” says one of the aforementioned foreign terrorists.

I turn as I scurry past and say “I’m so sorry. I’m in a hurry.” WHICH IS TOTALLY THE TRUTH by the way...not that it should matter.

Foreigner holding flat iron in the air, “It will only take one second.” <--Liar. I’m not stupid.

Princess: “No thanks.”

Two steps and BAM!

Foreigner #2: “HEEEEYYYYYY!!!! Remember me?”

Princess: Blank look as I walk away saying, “No thanks” in a firm(ish) tone.

WIMTS: Nooooooo I don’t. And don’t try that stupid flirting stuff. I might be an old lady and you might think you are some young stud, but....

You are not.

You are too short.

You are too young.

Your wallet is too thin.

Your game is weak.

You couldn’t handle it

The Prince would kick your ever lovin’.........

And I do not want your clothes steamer. I can spritz my shirt and throw it in the dryer for 60 seconds just as easy.

Two more steps...

Foreigner #3: “Excuse me. You dropped something.”

Gullible Princess turns and looks. Sees nothing. Clearly confused.

Idiot Foreigner: “It was your smile.”

Princess: Rolls eyes and keeps walking.

Risky Foreigner: “And apparently you dropped your manners too.”

*Princess with steam coming out of her ears* (but says nothing...typical wussy Princess)

WIMTS: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Every doggone time I go to the mall I am accosted by people trying to peddle their flat iron / Greek hand lotion / nail buffer / clothes steamer / salt scrub / other unwanted retail items. Do you see the people at Ann Taylor stopping me as I walk by asking if I had a minute to look at their trouser socks? You try to stop me ALL. THE. TIME. With kids, without kids, walking fast, walking slow, smiling, scowling, looking away, pretending to text someone....it really doesn’t matter.

LET ME TELL YOU WHAT IS RUDE YOUNG MAN........YOU! When I tell you that I don’t have time. I MEAN IT! <--Apparently they don’t have the “No means No campaign overseas.”

And THAT my friends is why I now enjoy online shopping!

Post It Notes: Edition #22 - Stalking and Anniversary Edition

2010-06-29T00:00:00.000-04:00

Stay tuned for stalking updates.

I'm Baaaaaaaaaack!

2010-06-28T09:16:00.000-04:00

Ok ya'll.....guess what. I'm back.

Go ahead. I'll wait a moment or two for you to email, facebook, and tweet all your friends and let them know that Princess is in the house.

*filing nails*

*straightening book stack*

*rinsing breakfast dishes and putting them in dishwasher*

*checking computer....nope, not back yet*

*making bed*

*going through mail* <---I have two round trip plane tickets to anywhere in the US waiting for me! I'm SURE it's not a scam! Where should I go?

*checks computer for fun destinations*

Oh, so sorry! I got distracted. Here you are waiting on me and I was goofing off looking for travel plans. Not that I need to be going anywhere anytime soon. I mean, this is my first official day off vacation.

We came back early so the Prince could bush hog cut our field lawn and we could unpack and get stettled before the work week started. Getting back in to the swing of things is so hard. Fortunately, we were able to get the boys off their schedule.....of waking up at the crack of dawn.....while we were at the beach, so things should run a little more smoothly this week than most.

It may surprise you to learn that Princess is NOT a morning person. At all. The Prince is, however, and it annoys the fool out of me. Luckily, he is generally pretty quite as he showers and dresses and slips out the door to work on summer mornings. Except for this morning..........when he forgot to turn off the house alarm before he opened the door.

*insert being awakened by a panic attack*

So now, my first day off official vacation begins with a splitting headache. Lovely. But at least I'm not the Prince who has to go to actual WORK. That must be ROUGH. Bless him.

But anydoodle, I just wanted to let you guys know I am back. I know this is not much of a post, but it's a start. I'm going to get back into the swing of things. (I'll try not to set off any alarms.)

Perhaps I'll do a few of my favorite meme's this week and one that I've never done, but it's right up my alley so I think I must. I'm going to do a book review on a book I read on vacay that I luuuuuurrrved. The author is fan freaking tastic and I have officially begun to cyberstalk her. (I sent her a letter yesterday detailing my intent to stalk. I may need some letters of reference from you guys when if she gets skittish.)

Well, I'll let you get back to telling everyone that I'm here. See you all tomorrow!

Big Girl Panties and Party Girls

2010-06-23T00:38:00.000-04:00

Today is JennFab's birthday!

*insert party horns and streamers*

I said streamers...not strippers. <--that was for the wayward dudes who stumble upon this blog post from odd google searches...and Ian...and Ed.

Our theme for JennFab's birthday is "Put your big girl panties on and celebrate Jenn's birthday!" My original intent was to get a really big pair of panties and take a pic of me and my family in them. I'm on vacation right now, but I really didn't think that would be too hard to make it happen. So I went to the mall...... No luck. Apparently, big girls are discriminated against at the mall. Grannies are not, just big girls. I found lots of panties in normal sizes. Like a size 6.......but with enough fabric in one pair of size sixes to make several more pairs of panties. What is up with that?! How big do people wear their panties?! If you are a size 6, there is no reason to have panties that are 2 feet tall. I mean, really.

So since my quest to find an actual pair of panties was foiled, I decided I would steal borrow a pic from the interwebz. Guess what I found out from a google search of "big girl photos"? (yes, I forgot to type in "panties") LOTS OF BIG GIRL PORN! Oh my. Not really what I was going for.....but apparently, many others do. Note to self: Get a porn filter before letting boys use my laptop.

I scratched searching the internet to pirate a picture and decided to make my own. I photoshopped a picture from last year of my family at the beach this week to show us in our big girl panties.....which are orange in honor of Clemson Jenn's favorite team, the University of Texas. Go Tigers! Hook 'em Horns!

Happy Birthday my fabulous friend! I hope you don't don't go postal on your coworkers have an awesome day!

Now go on over to Jenn's at She Says and leave her some lovin'.

Seriously. Go now.

There's nothing left here to see.

I'm dropping back off the face of the earth going back on vacation.

So scram.

Actually.......I am going to be hanging out with Shell from Things I Can't Say today unless her husband did that background check on me like he threatened.

That's right. Be jealous. I just wish I had packed my tiara and boa. I'm not sure how she'll recognize me at the pool without them. I guess she'll just have to look for the chick eating Doritos being fanned by the cabana boys.

I'm sure some pictures will surface at some point and ya'll can live vicariously through us....or not. Whatever.

Where in the world is Princess?

2010-06-03T11:53:00.001-04:00

The princess is back!! <----total lie. I'm just dropping by.

I'm so sorry guys. I didn't even realize how long it had been since my last post. My life has been an absolute whirlwind the past few months weeks. I appreciate the complaining hearing from lots of you and the requests to put up a new post. Those of you who are from my local area know what slave drivers how busy our school keeps us the last few weeks of the year. And if you live in my neighborhood like KL, you have seen me drive back and forth and to and fro non-stop. (Thanks for the friendly waves......and the diabolical laughter under your breath...you just wait until your kids are a tiny bit older!)

Here's what we have been doing in a nutshell. Both boys finished up their baseball and flag football seasons. Both of their teams played in the flag football championship game. One team won by a landslide, the other lost a heartbreaker in the last second. Literally...the last second.

Baseball was a ton of fun and both boys had some great kids on their teams. It was sad to see it end......though it's really not over, because our youngest made one of the Allstar teams. Sooo.....no break from baseball yet! Other than that, I have been at the school every stinking day a lot. Between field days, race days, water day, awards day, K5 graduation, history day, and whatever other reason they can think of to get parents up there volunteering....I've been busy! Not complaining though ok, maybe a little since I love being involved in my kids school. It's all over now though. Our last day of school was today.

*insert happy dance*

Brag alert....both boys had a fantastic year and were highly decorated on awards day. I could not be any prouder of them. We are so fortunate to live in a school district that has swarms of awesome teachers. We will miss the incredible teachAHs *sobs* we had this year, but are super excited about the two teachers my boys have been assigned for next year. (Even though one of them kills poor defenseless birds with her car...*ahem*.)

So now, summer begins. It's my most favorite time of the year. I the boys get to sleep late. We spend countless hours lounging by the pool or wake boarding on the lake. We stay up late and have absolutely no structure. Maybe our pace will slow down enough that I will be able to fire up the puter and spend some time with you guys as well.

I have missed spewing my thoughts into cyberspace blogging. I hate that I have not been around to read other blogs. I've been absent from Twitter and email as well. While it makes me feel good that you noticed I was gone, I also feel very guilty. One of you even told me that her "life was cold and bleak without my inspiring words of humor and that she would surely cease to exsist if I did not return to blogging soon." Or maybe it was something like, "I checked your blog today and didn't see anything new." Either way, it means the same thing......right? *nod your head and agree here*

So here is what I promise to you from now on:

I, Princess of Sarcasm, do solemnly swear to put my family's needs first and blog when I have time from now on!

I know, it's not much. But it's all I can promise right now. I will make an effort to post and visit you when I can. (If there's anything important going on, please notify me. I'm so out of the loop right now!) I'll even pop by Twitter when I get a chance. But right now, I'm off to make some PB&J's. The sun just peeked out a bit and I think we'll go celebrate the beginning of summer at the pool. If I could see my computer screen in direct sunlight and if I thought it were safe to take my laptop around all that splashing water, I would blog poolside all summer. But there is no way I would ever endanger my lovah, Mac(Book).

So to sum it all up.....I have not quit blogging!

Ya'll can't get that lucky rid of me THAT easy....

Thunderstorm at the Duck Pond

2010-05-21T14:12:00.000-04:00

It's raining here today in the usually sunny South. But that's not what is making me so gloomy. It's the raining inside my house that is making things dark and somber. I cannot quit crying.

All my life I wanted a brother sister. (Yeah, I was a tomboy growing up.) I had step and half siblings, but I didn't live with any of them. When I was 10, my parents started a children's home. So I had kids in my house all the time, but they came and went. We still keep in touch with many of them. I am close to a few. But I always wanted that close relationship that could make you want to snap someone's neck off one moment and move mountains for them the next that siblings have. So what did I do? I married a man with two brothers and two sisters. I adore his siblings. I am envious of enjoy the closeness they have with each other. One of his sisters moved out here from Texas. I consider her MY sister.

One Thanksgiving many years ago after the prince and I were first married, we went to spend the week in Texas. We made the rounds seeing family and friends. We were able to spend time with the prince's brother, Bill at his new restaurant. He was so happy and full of life. He had reached his ultimate goal and was doing very well. Bill was on top of the world. Less than two weeks later my prince got the most devastating call he had ever taken. Bill was gone. Just like that. Ripped from our lives....leaving behind a wife and a three year old son. He was 28 years old....

Having a young loved one ripped from your life like that is horribly devastating. Though the daily pain of Bill's loss has dulled, I still cry for him from time to time.

Daffy from Batcrap Crazy is dealing with the loss her sister. Just a few days ago she was tweeting funnies from the hospital with her sis. I was thinking how awesome she was to keep her sister's spirits up by finding humor in the ridiculousness that they were seeing all around. That kind of love and support is vital when dealing with situations like this. I am now thinking about how fortunate they were to have each other. Even though the pain is enormous right now....

At some point way down the line when Daffy thinks of her sister, she will not cry. She will laugh and smile and focus on all the fun times. I wish I could wave a magic wand and get her to that point sooner. But then again, you cannot ever truly appreciate joy and happiness without pain and sadness.

Please go show Daffy your love and support. You have no idea how much your thoughtful words mean.

And please consider the gift of organ donation. One loss can spare so many other people of the same fate. It's a simple gift with extraordinary outcomes.

I love Ducks and Monkeys...

2010-05-21T08:31:00.001-04:00

First of all....

Please remember Daffy today. If you haven't heard what her family is going through, please click on her button for an update.

Go show her some Blogfia love!

<a href="http://www.princessofsarcasm.com/2010/03/what-i-meant-to-say-9th-edition-we-are.html"><img src="http://i755.photobucket.com/albums/xx200/amberlaha/blogfia.png" /></a>

Mission Monkey

Hello blog-world! I am participating in what's known around the world as Mission Monkey day! What is Mission Monkey you ask? Well, there's this blogger friend of ours known as Pixie Momma, aka Michelle. Michelle has a little girl, or Monkey as she's known by who was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma. To learn more about it, click here. Monkey is a sweet little 16 month old girl. She doesn't deserve this. Nobody deserves this.

But the good news is that Monkey only has Stage 1 (low risk). The bad news is the medical bills are mounting and the Physical Therapy (starts today) isn't covered by insurance. Michelle is using the donated money to offset medical bills. She will donate and unused portion to another family dealing with the same issue.

This is why the blogging universe is banning together like never before to rally around Michelle and Monkey to provide support. In addition to further entice you to lend your hand, and donate to the cause, we have over 50 items that have been donated. Many bloggers are hosting these fabulous giveaways and all you need to win one of these items is just one raffle ticket.

Donation pages:
Princess of Sarcasm - http://bit.ly/9nUmBp
The One and Only Oka - http://bit.ly/9KZSOG
SupahMommy - http://bit.ly/bSMrGw
Jenn B Says #1 - http://bit.ly/bYzHAH
Jenn B Says #2 - http://bit.ly/bej01D
Amber - http://bit.ly/cTGq29
Two Little Monkeys - http://bit.ly/cZKjzK
Mommy's Nest - http://bit.ly/9tLjoy
Chief's Hiding From the Kids - http://bit.ly/cfKIiO
Jenny - http://bit.ly/dftIS2
Jana (link forthcoming)

You may donate any amount of money via PayPal as it's linked directly to Michelle's bank account. However, in order to be a part of the raffle, this is how that's going to go. If you donate the following, you get the subsequent number of entries:

$10 - 2 entries
$20 - 5 entries
$30 - 10 entries
$40 - 15 entries
$50 - 20 entries
$75 - 35 entries
$100 - 50 entries
$200 - 125 entries

The raffles for each item will start on or around July 1st.

Click on monkey to donate!

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If you are donating money via PayPal, I need to know who it's coming from. For example, look at the first picture below. The link takes to you this screen. Press the plus sign and then indicate your blog name/blog email address so I can track you accordingly.

And, here's the thing: this could be any of our kids. Thank you for your time and thank you for your donation.

There are also a few other things going on to celebrate Mission Monkey please visit them all!

Twitter party!
More info can be found here - CASH PRIZES!!!!!!

Kerri over at Kerri's Klutter is donating $1 for each and every linkup she receives for her weekly meme, Comment Love Letters. In addition, Adrienne is matching Kerri's donation dollar for dollar! Go and link up and support Mission Monkey!

ZGirl and Travis are participating in a weight loss challenge and they are asking for your sponsorship. Please visit them and lend your support!

Jenn over at BabyStepsInHighHeels has a challenge where she's going to donate $1 for every comment/new follower from now until the end of May. Please visit her!

Auction Items for Mission Monkey

2010-05-17T08:43:00.003-04:00

Do you want to win something awesome from the Mission Monkey Auction?

Duh, OF COURSE YOU DO!!

Take a peek at some of the awesome things people are offering.

****************************************************************

smArtee Pants from Insights and Belly Laughs has an Etsy shop where you can see her funky art work. She is donating four art prints of the winners choice valued at $40. These are so cute. I wish I had a daughter, cuz I'm gonna need someone to come visit me at Christmas when the boys are at their MIL's I would totally love to put these sassy prints in her room.

*******************************************************************

Elyse Rosati is donating a copy of her book, By Little Hands, and a handcrafted children's smock.

The for a description of the book go to this link on Amazon.

*********************************************************************

Erin from The Mother Load is donating a "Get Your Green On" package, which includes (but is not limited to):

1.) 1 set of Belief Beyond Bags---reusable produce bags; 1 oversized and 2 standard reusable produce bags from Whole Foods. All are white.

2.) 1 soy candle with cotton wick. Vanilla Latte scent.

3.) 1 Flip & Tumble reusable tote bag (possibly my favorite brand/kind). Holds 25 lbs, has padded shoulder strap. Rolls up into a tiny ball you can toss into your puse, briefcase, gym bag, etc. Shown in photo rolled up and laid out flat.

4.) 1 handmade bar of soap (all natural ingredients) made by Soaptopia. Eucalyptus and mint scented.

5.) 2 green reusable totes with important message on the outside::One Earth, One Person, One Chance."

**********************************************************************************

The next item up is super duper cuteness. Check out this red zebra pirate pixie hat from this Etsy shop.

BABY NOT INCLUDED!!! Otherwise I would have snatched this one up already.

************************************************************************************

Lisa from Mommy's Nest secured this donation from Boutique Mia: Retro and Fun Tuxedo inspired Peasant Top with the added Boutique Mia touch.

It can be a vintage button, a little bow or just a little surprise.

Size 4/5

************************************************************************************

Polka Dots and Hockey Sticks is donating this 80x62 quilt.

************************************************************************************

I Fly Like a Bird is donating a handmade rosette pin, rosette headband, a pair of handmade earrings, a handmade earring hanger, and a book wreath.

**************************************************************************************

And the most valuable last item I am posting is a phone call from Princess of Sarcasm. It can be done via Skype complete with boa and tiara if you wish.

I will play the part and praise your child for performing a task such as going pee pee in the potty or as a birthday greeting. Are you having trouble getting your child to take their medicine like JennFab was? I got you covered. Is your little one sneaking up and getting out of bed like Supah Mommy's little angel, Yep Yep? Princess to the rescue.

If you are a dirty old man looking for a party....

Do. Not. Bid.

Not gonna happen.

Skype call will need to be scheduled in advance to make sure my diamonds plastic gems in my tiara are polished and ready for show. If you do not have a webcam, we can still do the call via regular phone.

********************************************************************************

For the record it's pure torture posting cute little girls things when you only have boys....but I'll do it for Monkey.

For information on how to donate to Mission Monkey and win an auction item, please visit Ian at Daily Dose of Reality. He will have a master list of links up on Wednesday so you can find all the other items that have been donated.

Click on monkey to donate...please help!

Winnah! Winnah!

2010-05-14T23:10:00.000-04:00

Chicken dinnah!

Who won the 500 business cards from DigitalRoom.com?

Drumroll please.....................................

*insert dramatic pauses*

The winnah......*echo*........

of the 500 business cards.........*echo*........

izzzzzzzzzz........

*another annoying Ryan Seacrest pause*.......

Frugal Vicki

*insert raucous studio applause*

She has some kind of theory on how to work the system with Random.org.....and apparently it works! Congrats Vicki! I will be in touch with you to give you the deets.

In the meantime, don't forget to support Mission Monkey!

Click on monkey to donate...please help!

Calling all BLOGFIA!!

2010-05-12T00:09:00.001-04:00

I have another very important task for you.

I'm sure you've all see this button floating around unless you live under a rock.

Have you heard about the sucker punch horrible news this mom received?

Her beautiful 16 month old baby, Monkey, has cancer.

Heart wrenching. Simply terrible. No words.

What can you do? You can kick cancer's ass.

Spread the word on your blog. So simple. How can you say no?

Donate something to the auction that Ian from Daily Dose of Reality is organizing.

Pray.

Visit Michelle's blog and read her updates. Leave her some love and support.

Donate cash.

Click on monkey to donate...please help!

Post this button on your blog and encourage your readers to donate.

Individually, we may all be small time. But together, we can take this big time.

Go see Ian at Daily Dose of Reality for more details.

Let's show Michelle and Monkey what the Blogfia can do...

Post It Notes: Edition #21 - Standardized Testing

2010-05-11T12:26:00.002-04:00

Our school is in the middle of testing this week...thus the theme for my Post It Notes....

On Becoming a Mother....

2010-05-10T11:02:00.001-04:00

What kind of things have I learned from being a mom?

I have learned that...abstract art is not stupid....there is truly nothing more emotion invoking and precious than a picture of a dinosaur drinking coffee at an amusement park you and your child hugging in a meadow full of flowers and puppy dogs.

I have learned that....you DO use fractions and other "mathy" stuff after high school. *Damn you third grade math*

Photo Credit

I have learned that....Kidz Bop, while cute at first and certainly better than the Wiggles, is quickly becoming the leading cause of mothers becoming heroin addicts pulling their hair out.

I have learned that....peanut butter and/or jelly is apparently wall art...and my house is a gallery.

I have learned that...getting your first tooth is not nearly as much fun as it sounds.

I have learned....not to judge stay-at-home moms vs. working moms and breast feeding vs. bottle feeding....we are all just mom's trying to survive. Though I'm sure my kids will turn out better than yours...... Shut up. Let me live in my fantasy world.

I have learned that....cleaning my house is a complete waste of time. Yet I keep doing it. (But don't come check it right now, k?)

Photo Credit: The Dude who does Garfield

I have learned that....kids don't really need so many toys. Wish I had learned that one sooner......

I have learned that...using the phrase "my kids will NEVER *insert undesired behavior*" is the quickest way to get God to laugh and show you his sense of humor.

I have learned that....ranch dressing and ketchup are their own separate food groups and each should be given a nobel peace prize.

I've learned that....my kids are willing to forgive me easily when I make mistakes though I'm sure they keep a secret diary for future therapy sessions.

I've learned that....I CAN handle a crisis though the prince is much better in those situations.

I've learned that...I can switch from being so excited about the future for my children to being terrified in the blink of an eye.

I have learned that...becoming a mom is the best thing I ever did.

And most importantly, I have learned that....not every mom is as lucky as I am....and that any mom's life can change in a moment without notice.

Please go show your support for this mom whose wind has been knocked out of her. She needs to hear some encouraging words of hope. Be on the lookout this week for more information on how you can help her.

Givin' it up....it's not what you think mom!

2010-04-30T11:35:00.000-04:00

I'm hosting my very first giveaway. I'm so excited. I mean who doesn't like to be Santa Claus?

Are you going to a blogger conference soon? Do you have a new business? Do you need business cards? Do you need gift tags? Do you just want something for free?

Well then.....enter my giveaway sponsored by DigitalRoom.com!

Are you a little quirky? Do you want something other than the boring standard sized cards?

Well then, DigitalRoom.com has the perfect solution for you. You can choose something a little more sexy edgy like a modern square or a skinny slim card. Of course, if you aren't a rebellious child don't have a wild side are a classy person, you can also choose to stick with the normal sized card. (Don't worry Chief, you don't have to be classy to enter.)

Go HERE to check out all the options DigitalRoom.com has to offer in cards.

Here are the details of the giveaway:

The winner will receive 500 Business Cards in one of three sizes

2 x 3.5" standard card
2 x 2" square card
1.75 x 3.5" slim card

Winner will choose from

14 pt gloss cardstock
14 pt matte cardstock
13 pt recycled uncoated cardstock

DigitalRoom.com offers:

Full Color Both Sides
Offset Press
3 Business Day Printing

This contest is open to US residents ages 18 and above only. Contest ends on May 12.

How do you enter?

Follow my blog. (One entry)
Follow me on Twitter and tweet about this contest -- put my twitter handle in the tweet. (Five entries)
Leave me a comment telling me if you followed and/or tweeted and tally your entries. Be sure to send me your email address if you do not have a profile linked to your email.

I will use random.org to pick a winner. The winner will receive their prize by the end of the month.

Visit DigitalRoom.com to see all their awesome products!

On becoming old...

2010-04-28T08:48:00.000-04:00

What becoming old has taught me:

Wrinkles bite the big one.

A good pair of jeans that make you look slimmer is worth every penny.

When you have another child, your love does not have to be divided...it multiplies.

Being early is a waste of time.

There’s no arguing with stupid.

Political correctness is ruining funny.

Politicians are ruining politics.

Politics are ruining Little League, high school, and college sports.

Ice cream is evil...but oh so good.

Carbohydrates are ruining my body.

But if carbohydrates didn’t do it first, I would find another excuse.

Mama was right...boys were after only one thing...and still are.

Finding a good husband is the most important decision you will ever make.

I’m a good decision maker.

You can’t keep a nine-year-old boy from dying laughing when someone cuts the cheese.

Nothing will cure the blues better than feeling your child’s arms around your neck and hearing him say “You’re the best mommy in the whole world.”

Having younger friends is great every day of the year except your birthday.

They will ride you like a mule when you hit a “milestone” birthday.

You will love them dearly anyway because friends who love you enough to keep you laughing about becoming officially old are better than friends who forget your birthday.

URL friendships can be just as deep as IRL friendships.

I love my friends....all of them.

I am blessed beyond what I deserve....

Post It Notes: Edition #20

2010-04-26T23:59:00.000-04:00

A Great Big Fat *smooches™ to the Blogfia!

2010-04-23T14:06:00.001-04:00

We did it!

Jane just emailed me.

They "found" Islaam a new school.

Jane is pleased.

You all rock!

I will post more info when I get it.

Tell all your husbands, etc. that you do NOT waste

all your time on this blog thing.

You change lives and champion causes!

Thanks to the blogfia for your support.

If you are not a member yet, grab this button

and post it on your blog.

You never know when you might need us....

You may now cease and desist your email attack.

The battle is won.

Go here to get Jane's update.

Blogfia Announcement...No More Bullying: The Sequel

2010-04-22T22:43:00.005-04:00

I am such a lucky Princess. Why? Because I live in an area where the school administration takes bullying and violence very seriously. Unfortunately, that is not the case everywhere.

Do you remember this?

This is Jane’s son. He was attacked and beaten by school mates. Jane is getting the runaround encountering resistance in getting him reassigned to a different school. The bully was arrested by the police, but it has not stopped him. Read this for an update.

Do you want to help get her son in a school where he can concentrate on learning and not have to worry about his immediate safety?

Blogfia has a job for you.

Email the principal, Mrs. Clark at llclark@lbschools.net and let her know that you are disappointed in their lack of cooperation and their failure to keep Islaam safe. The matter has recently been presented to the superintendent, Christopher J. Steinhauser. We are hoping he will be more helpful. You can reach him at lbetschel@lbschools.net and let him know that you are familiar with Islaam’s case at Jefferson Middle School and that you have seen photos of the brutal attack and that you are SURE they will do the right thing and provide him with a safe learning environment at another school within their district.

Please send a copy to Jane at knottylbc@yahoo.com for her records.

If you would like to join us by posting a plea for help on your blog, Jane would be very grateful. Tweet using the #blogfia hashtag. You may copy my post and tweek it to fit yours if you wish. Please grab the blogfia button as well.

Our goal is to have their inbox flooded with emails by tomorrow morning when they get to work.

Please send emails up until 3 pm EST / noon PST on Saturday, April 24.

If Jane doesn't get a positive response we may do it again next week. We will give them an adequate amount of time to respond, but will stay on them if needed.

If you need a sample email to send you may copy mine.

Dear Ms. Clark,

I have been following the story about the recent attack on a student in your school, Islaam, and I am outraged that he has not been given an opportunity to transfer to another school. Your lack of action in this case is unacceptable. How are children supposed to learn if they are in an environment where they fear for their safety? Your inability to protect him is a serious issue. I am hoping you will take the necessary steps to protect this child’s mental and physical well being and do whatever is necessary to rectify this situation immediately.

Dear Mr. Steinhauser,

I have been following the story about the recent attack on a student at Jefferson Middle School, Islaam, and I am disappointed that he has not been provided an opportunity to enroll in another school within the district. Children need to be provided with a safe environment to learn. I hope you will move quickly to rectify this situation so that Islaam will be able to get back in school as soon as possible and work towards healing emotionally from the brutal attack. Please do not let this young man down.

Update:

WE DID IT YA'LL!!!

No more emails necessary!

Thanks guys! The Blogfia ROCKS!

Supah's Survivor Challenge-The Dating Game with Harv

2010-04-15T22:27:00.001-04:00

Supah's Survivor Challenge was way less time consuming fun this week
.
First...we had to design a muppet character. Mine was easy.

Meet (prin)Cessy Sarcasm...

Looks just like Mimi from The Drew Carey Show me, right?

Hawtness......fo sho.

Next, answer a serious of questions to try to win over Harv's icy cold heart in The Dating Game.

Tell me about yourself in 200 words or less.

Hello Haaaarvvv...I am a 29 year old (shut. up.) smokin’ hot puppet who likes to take long walks on the beach (well, as long of a walk as it takes to get to the ice cream cart), romantic dinners (fruity pebbles by candlelight is my fav) who is looking to do the dirty for a long term relationship with a like minded puppet such as yourself.

As you might have noticed, I am a bonafide princess....

OH YES, I AM!!

*sticks tongue out, folds arms and looks away*

So it will take a special kind of puppet to keep up with my demands desires. I’m certain you will make a good victim candidate. (Wait, what? Harv is selecting the date? Not me? What kinda idiot made that decision? Supah Mommy? Who the heck is that? Never heard of her....)
Anypuppet, I love the movie Muppets take Manhattan....one day I’m going to have my knights take Manhattan for me. My favorite song is “It’s Not Easy Being Green.” (See, I got my minions to do some research.) I also notice you like to do some hosting...so I’m guessing you like to be the center of attention. I have no problem stepping back and letting you have the limelight. <---Total lie. That will never happen. I will shove you aside much like Ms. Piggy manhandles Kermit.
The one thing I can sincerely promise you (if there is ever any sincerity with someone who has the last name “Sarcasm”) is to be the butt of all my jokes there will be lots of laughs.

If you were an ice cream, what kind would you be and why?
Chunky Bacon Chip, cuz I know how much Haaaarv likes the porkchops.

*winky winky*

On a first date, what animal are you most like and why?
Laughing Hyena, no wait, that will be you.

I would be.....a piranha, a bull, a lion...a UNICORN! Why? Cuz I like to be the center of attention for people to notice me.

Harv, I’ll do anything for you BUT...

Wait....I have to do stuff for you? This might not work out so well.....

On our first date I text you that I am sick, how do you respond?

That’s fine. I was worried about how I was going to schedule you and your brother in the same night anyway. Get well soon.

Ok, Harv. Those are my answers. You'll either love me or hate me, but either way, you won't be surprised by thinking you've picked someone icky sweet nice and then find out on the first date they are me bitchy. What I can guarantee is that you will have lots of fun and laugh.... All. Night. Long. *winky winky*

So pick me Harv! And we will leave those other puppets in the dust ride off into the sunset together.

We are down to five contestants left! If you want to see the other soon to be losers entries, click here.